What's not cool anymore

Ok, so it's April of 2009 and here's a list of stuff that used to be kind of (maybe) cool, but has now run its course, and is no longer cool.

Top 5

1. Uggs/Crocs- take your pick, they're both not cool. Actually, if you have to pick, go with the Uggs (ladies), because Crocs are simply unsightly eye sores. "But Jack, they're comfortable and weather-proof!" Lies. They are not that comfortable, and if you want weather-proof, go with some nice manly-man boots. Just not Uggs.

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2. Croakies- Ok, some might argue that these are the perfect companion to a nice pair of shades. Such a person might say, "Jack, I need croakies for my sunglasses because I take them off so much, and when I do this, I enjoy hanging them fashionably around my neck." Yes, it's soon going to be summer time. But, unless you feel the unwaivering urge to shine frat-astically for all to see, leave the ole 'croaks at home.

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3. The word "dude"- "But d00d! I love to say dude!" I'm as guilty as anyone of saying this term that survived the stain-on-history that was the 1980s. Now, it's true, the 80s were a crazy time. Men wore makeup and women's clothes. Women wore men's clothes and touted unreasonably horrible hair styles. Neon was cool. So- how did we, as a smart sophisticated people of the modern day, let "dude" survive? There's hope. Let's all make a conscious effort to work on ending the reign of terror. Maybe then, we can just forget that the 80s even existed! Maybe?

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4. Saying "buddy"- "Jack! I understand that dude is an unclever, unsophisticated, and overused word, but surely not the word buddy!?!" Yes. And I'll tell you why. I hate it when somebody calls me "buddy". For a few reasons:

a. It makes you sound like my perverted uncle.

b. I am an adult and would like to be addressed by a proper name.

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5. Trying too hard- Take it easy there, buddy (see #4). Life gave you some lemons, but why're you already making the lemonade? No need to rush through everything. Stressed? Relax. Going to miss the bus? They'll be another. Going to miss the bar exam? Plumbing pays well, I hear.